Grieving comes in unexpected ways

This is a post that I had written in an old blog on January 1, 2013. Thinking of these families today, 3 years later, how their lives have changed so much since then.

I started this new project for me, to draw the faces of the children and teachers that lost their lives in that terrible shooting a few weeks ago at Sandy Hook Elementary School. I wanted to keep their memories alive, to show their faces, to tell a little bit about them and their families. It has been a privilege to be able to do this, in a very small way, my way, to pay tribute to them

 Sandy Hook angels 2
As I start the sketch, their little faces are etched in my mind. thoughts flood my mind as to who they were. What was the family like that they were a part of? What would they be doing today, on New Years, if they were here. How the celebrations would still be going on with all of their Christmas toys and presents, probably scattered across their bedroom floors. I wonder about the grown ups, their families… the boyfriend left behind, thinking he would be engaged today, instead, his love is gone forever….I am able to pray for the family, for God`s peace to continue to surround them, because after all, the children and teachers are not lost, they are at the feet of Jesus, He is calling them by name and the biggest of all celebrations is going on with Him. 

 I know that….. as I knew when my Mother died 2 years ago, my saddness for only for me, she was happier than she has ever been…. in heaven with Him…. But today, it became a bit personal for me…

 Their pictures have been shown, their history told, as much as it can be as people remember, but today… I was sketching Chase Kowalski. A precious little boy with short blonde hair, a sweet little smirk on his face and when I was finished, as I always do, I was looking up information about him and his family. then it hit me…. he had two older sisters, one in high school and one in Jr. High…. His parents had two families, so to speak…. two girls, growing up then this precious little boy, years later was born to complete their family. It became personal at this point. 

It was the same story as our family… me and my sister, 12 and 15 when our little brother was born. I was almost shaking with grief, tears, for this family, that could have been ours. Did they pray for Chase all those years in between like we did for our little brother? Did they adore him and spoil him and babysit for him like we did with our little brother? Yes, we have similiar stories but very different endings… what if it had been my little brother there, years ago? what would I be feeling now?

 Yes, today, grieving for those sweet sisters as they are mourning the loss of their little brother.. 

These are real people, real lives have changed forever. Hopes, dreams that these parents had for their children have disappeared.. siblings will never have their sisters and brothers with them on this earth…..

Meaness, evil exists. We don`t understand it, never will, just have to keep our hope in our Lord, who has our very days numbered. He knows each of us by name and knows when our earthly life will end…. It is a reminder to live for today, live as if it is our last day… don`t let things go unsaid, don`t let grudges go unforgiven, don`t forget to tell somenone you love them, appreciate the little things, expect His grace. Wishing His blessings to shower down on you this new year. Happy 2013

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