May, 2012

Birthdays are so special, no matter what age you are. It has always been important to me to be sure there is a birthday cake at these birthdays for family and friends… even when the adults do not want one. I always say, “What is a birthday without a cake?!!”  But as I am a bit older now, …. my thoughts have varied just a bit. I still love to get the cake for others, but it is not as important for me, personally to have one!! Hard to hear those words coming from my mouth cause I love sweets so much!!! Realizing that my body has a reaction to eating those sweets all the time, like gaining weight (?!!!), I am trying to watch what I eat a bit more these days!!!

Anyway, a mother is usually the one who makes the birthdays special. I know that Dads play an important role on the actual birthday itself, but as far as preparations go, weeks in advance, the planning, ordering, looking, dreaming of the perfect party, invitations and doing the cake…. it is mostly the Mother… and rightfully so!! It is just part of the genetic make up we were given.

So,  each April, as I have had my birthday for these last two years , without my Mother,(it was something that I didn`t really think I would be doing for years to come), it was different. Billy, my baby brother,  just had his birthday last week and  my sister,Anne`s,  is today. Mother would always take us out to eat for lunch every year( after we got in the same city), just the four of us, at some special place that she would pick out. It would not have to be on any one particular birthday, just sometime around April or May… Then she would have a cake for us….

Yesterday, the three of us met and went to eat lunch together. It was a fun time, laughing, eating, remembering… but we couldn`t help but notice  that there was an empty seat at the table. We didn`t talk about it, but I am sure it was on each of our minds. Oh… how we still miss her…..

I was thinking tonight, that when she was my age, she had 38 years left with her mother!! That is a lifetime! A lifetime of us missing her….

We don`t dwell in the past because we all know how blessed we were to have had her for as long as we did, but just can`t help but still think of her often and wish she could be here with us.

I have always said that the bond between a Mother and her child, is not something you can describe. It is the best gift God could ever give you. As the child is young, it is a learning and growing  time for both of you. As time goes by and the child grows, it is a trying time, sometimes, when they are learning to be their own person and wanting to be with their own friends. When they leave for college, the empty nest syndrome is starting to take place and there is an emptiness that you can`t describe. When they are on their own, they come back to you as a friend, a best buddy, to talk to , confide in, enjoy your company and actually look forward to being with you!! No matter the age, you still need your Mother and think she will always be with you! Your heart is wrapped up in their lives!!

That is how our Mother was to us, our best friend. We just were not ready to let her go quite yet…. But we fully realize it was God`s timing, and it was His time for her to go home. We understand that… but even as old as we all are, it is still hard not to have our Mother with us…

Birthdays have come once again, and we are blessed to have the siblings to carry out the birthday traditions that Mother once started with us… Happy birthday to us, and happy “birth”day to Mother for having us on those special days, so long ago… We love you still!!

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